my_own_lunatic_asylum

VIVA LA VIDA!

    "Do you look at your life Sir?"
    This question since the first time I heard it, never fails to pry me. Then suddenly, I realized, yes why not look at your life, reflect or whatever you prefer to call it once in a while.
    For eighteen years of my existence, though it feels like I have lived longer than that span, I always thought as some other people say, "life is what you make it". But isn't it in Logic, it says that we were born with everything that we need to sustain our lives is just there scattered and the only thing we must do is just seek for those things you believe is essential for you to survive. Which most of us do; well of course except for those people who were born with "silver platter/spoon" and  they just open their mouth and take it all in, without so much effort, don't you think that is unfair??  Unfortunately, I am not one of those lucky people.
  Well  I don't blame my parents for that, well first of all I don't consider myself as the less fortunate one. Actually, I pity them for they weren't able to taste what the true essence of life is. Life is yes, suffering, as Buddha said. But these struggles, the pain, hindrances and everything that leads us to frustration were the very  things that teaches us to fight. I'm happy that I do not have lots of money, atleast I have the urge, the drive to seek for it hahaha! My parents didn't have that so called ideal education, and guess what? they trying their best to give us one.
    What I wanted to impart is that, let us not be sad or devastated if we have these "holes" or missing part in our lives. Example, I don't have a car which will take me anywhere I wanted to, so what I'm doing right now is that, Im focusing in my studies so that eventually I'll be able to land a lucrative job which will enable me to buy a one  tight car. Damn! And if I will not be able to fulfill that fantasy of mine, that is the only time you'll caught me committing suicide.
    People may not take me seriously by now, they may think that I'm still too immature for me to digest life, what they do not know that I'm so up for every challenges, every arrow and every bullet.

 

    VIVA LA VIDA!

"May I help?"

    WooH its a wrap!!
    I've been busy this past week. We had our RED CROSS TRAINING, and its such an awesome experience!! I learned a lot, really and I'm happy that I managed to make friends with other people in my block. Because I used to just stick to people I know I'm comfortable with but the training gave me, well not only me but all of my classmates to mingle with each other; to make a bond.
    It's a 5 days training and Ooh so tiring, but Its worth it!! Kahit haggardness at stress na kaming lahat! ang saya saya pa din! gusto nming ulitin! we felt so bitin!                                                                                                                                    

my constant crew during the training...

we managed to smile pa oh!

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okay, so feel na feel ko na ang pagiging "first aider" I shall share to you ang mga bagay bagy na natutunan ko!

1. Observe the scene
    "the scene is safe"
2. Introduce yourself/ask for a consent
"I'm Jinky David, trained first aider (yabangness) may I help?
3. Check consciousness
    "hey,hey are you okay?" (2x)
4. Check airway,Breathing and circulation.
5.If the victim is breathless but has a positive pulse:
    "perform rescue breathing"
6 and if the victim is pulseless at the same time is breathless:
    "time to do the CPR yow!"
7. put the victim in a recovery position
8. observe signs of life (movement/breathing)
9. do a secondary survey and finally,
10 Interview the victim and recording of data (documentation).

"YABANGNESS ba?? pasencxa nah!

nothing just pictures (again from the training)

with sir aaron

with sir brian!

classmates!!

The Victim!!                                                                           

and ME crashing the scene (bad first aider!!)

and yes naman!!!

    THAT'S IT!! XD

Musings....

They call me 'quiet girl'
But i'm a riot!!
Maybe 'Joleisa'
Always the same
That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name

* I love this song by The Ting Tings!!
They are awesome!! Listen to them!!Highly recommend for those people who like to lighten their mood and yeah I found it EARgasmic in a funky way!!
_______________________________

  "Tapos na ang prelims!!!yey!yey! ako lang ang masaya!"

    Today is sunday and I'm so excited for tomorrow: May pasok na ulit!!..Actually, I'm feeling weird lately 'coz all of a sudden, I find myself excited to go to school!!Excited to learn!!(whatTheheck right??)Damn! But I think It is a good thing though. It's a sign na I really changed na (eew, I sound so Conio hahaha).
    Ewan, naiinis ako sa mga proffesor namin na argghh, hindi nagtuturo. Maybe na-inspire ako ni "Posner"(from History Boys).

Random:
My Tabs that are currently open:
*my friendster account
*CNN.com (wew!so??)
*Youtube.com (specific: cold shoulder by Adele)
*D-Link web configuration
*google.com (searching for "I wanna hold your hand"(movie) Torrent.
*My Hotmail account.
*E-games.com
*Yahoo.com (Horoscope..weehh)
*another Google.com (searching for Bookworm Deluxe, again,Torrent)

   

yan! ganyan ako ka-Bored!

and few things I learned from the past 5 days..(na walang pasok)

*nakakatuwa pala ang WOWOWEE (na impluwensiyahan ako ng Lola ko eh)
*tamad talaga ako (I still got one more Exam (Spanish) Nosotros,Vosotros,Como estas?) at hindi pa rin ako nag-aaral.
* 'di talaga ako mahilig sa cell phone. (yes, my nagte-text, meron namn akong load, pero tamad talaga akong magreply! Nagtatampo na sila. Sorry talaga!)
*sumosobra na ako sa Coke! (This I found very disturbing, akalain mo yon? 3 bote sa isang araw, ginawa ko cxang tubig. WOOH!!Health is a state of mind namn eh!)
* tumaba ako! (pygmallion effect going on, feel ko eh, baka nga tumaba ako.)
*miss na miss ko na ang bestfriend ko. (I want to hug them so badly!!)

    ACHIEVEMENTS:

I cut my hair again!!

PATAY.

    Yes, so  I on the verge of social breakdown a while back. Seriously, I don't even want to talk about it, but its taking its toll on me!! Damn it!! I don not know what has gotten into me; I'm starting to believe that maybe, there really is something wrong with me. And i just want you guys to know that while I'm typing this, my heart is racing, I feel like crying, screaming! I'm tired.
    This past few weeks, I learned to function alone, eventhough I would randomly wish that I have someone with me while waiting for my next class; my being Nomad was justified. Having time to plop down anywhere, stalking people and watching BB became somewhat a distant memory of the past!! tae emo na ako!!

 I managed to get decent scores in some of my quizzes, and finally I'm done with my report in chemistry!But wait, it's not over yet, because preliminaries is a few weeks away and I don't think I balance it all. My classes is from Monday- Saturday, so Sunday is my only vacant time.. I somehow successful in my plan to eliminate my social life, my sleeping time..my spiritual life (don't worry!)And I suppose I had it coming.

    What followed the next few days was a break down, experienced in small increments. Meaning, instead of one big breakdown, i had a series of smaller ones, including distancing myself from the people I know (ahh) care for me. But what can I do??? I just completely blew it away!

    I need time to think of nothing. Time to feel gratitude and oneness with my Spirit. But the problem now is that..I think I pushed it too far.

See? that is why I hate blogging sometimes, because when I write, I have the tendency to get into much details and I find it hard to limit my words.

______________________

    Since my teenager years, I'm trapped with this "Identity vs. Confusion" ordeal. It's hard. I'm struggling to figure who I really am. What I really want, err I know what I want, but I cannot do exactly what is on my mind because I have to think of others first. And what troubles me is that, I find it difficult to open up with others, in short I'm not a friendly person basically I find it hard to make one in the first place. I have insecurities and extreme personality which I don't think anyone in this effin world can understand!!And I can't go on this way! I want a revision of this ahh I cannot even call it life for God's sake! I'm starting to eat me!

    And what pisses me off is that people would always tell me that, "Wow, you're a jolly person", "you, smiley face"...they just do not know what really is going on! That at end of the day, I feel so deserted. So misfit. So dull. So regular. I'm not saying that I want to be perfect, because for me what makes us human is our imperfections. And one more thing, I hate it when I always put everything into logical perspective! When I know that what really counts in life are the spontaneous laughters and everything that is unexpected makes the best memory of all. (ahh walang akong direksyon) Kailangan ko lang ng mga tao na tatanggapin ang aking pagkatao. Na hindi ako pipiliting magbago. Pabayaan lang ako na ganito.

wOOt!!

 

Bee have!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

"according to all known laws of aviation there is no way a bee should be able to fly. a bees’ wings are too short and their bodies too fat. bees, of course, fly anyway, because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible."

let's take our cue, let's all go for it. whatever IT is!

so this post is made out of boredom. I do not know what to put in this post so I decided:

7 wonders of JNX!
    now, isn't that awesome? yeah, right!

• I am a very idiosyncratic person! So watch your moves/words/expressions whenever you're with me. (katakot ba hahaha?)
• I prefer SPICY over SWEET! Nahihilo kasi mga ipin ko 'pag masyado matamis! SO does that mean I am FEISTY individual?? damn yeah! Feisty in a spirited & assertive term...wOOt kuha mo??ang labo ata nito hehe.
• I am not into any perfume/cologne/scent (amoy lang ng pagkain) I am nauseatic!! So please,please,please bear with me..SEE, low-maintenance lang ako!
• Namimili ako ng sinigang! Sinigang lang ng nanay at lola ko ang kinakain ko, pero syempre kung bisita ako tapos yun 'ung hinapag, respeto mga tsong kakainin ko naman!
• I'm NOT SHORT I'm PETITE!!! 'eh ganun din yun eh, mas maganda lang pakinggan ung huli.
• I am a home buddy, pero 'pag mayaman na ako, iikutin ko ang mundo! I am not into  barhopping/clubbing. GIg na lang,gig!In short, KANTAHAN over SAYAWAN.
• And yes, Mahilig ako sa mga Bampira, naniniwala ako na nag-eexist sila, at darating ang araw na may magpapakita sa akin! At oo nga pala, mahilig ako sa toothbrush, gusto ko laging bago ang toothbrush ko..

to be continued..

    (si JNX ay sinumpong na naman).

                          

Smart,safe & small.

     I'm so hating' the weather!! It's very conducive to sleep haha!

    I just wanted to tell you guys nah I had two yes, two haircut in two weeks. My first haircut was last week thursday, but I didn't like it that much because, it still long!!!the stylist just gave layers and trimmed it to give volume but it still had the same length! damn~ isn't it haircut supposed to give you a new look? but i didn't think that it was justified in my part. anyways, I got my 2nd haircut yesterday, now this is what  I call a haircut!! It is really short ladies and gentlemen, but the pictures are yet to come! Its about the length of my shoulder, its been a while that I had this short hair and I'm so Lovin' it!!! I want a new phone!!!

~~~another good news!!
    I only had one week before my summer classes ends!!yahoo, meaning I have almost about two weeks(?) to splurge and I already had plans! but i really want to visit my province, I miss my family & my friends, best friends; sounds weird but I miss the simplicity of livin' in a province or rather, I'm just being nostalgic haha!
    My problem now is that I do not know what anime to watch this summer, but one thing is for sure...it should be a yaoi one! haha (addict!) I love a yaoi! and I don't care what you say!!!Brokebakan na ito! I watched a couple but I want more!!I wont say the titles though~_~ Yeah I'm weird but I don't see nothing wrong in it. I have nothing against "homo". I love gay people!!! I'm gay! yeah~yeah~yeah~
    Bastard me, I was supposed to be doing my paper on polsci, But instead I 'm here ranting these nonsense! See how random my topics were? It shifted from one to another, maybe because I'm really like that in real life. I have mood swings (extremes) and I have an attention disorder, I don't know but I can't focus on one thing for a long time, my mind just keeps on searching and deviating on different stuff. But hey! I am not mentally incapable!

and this picture made my day:
 

   

in this pic: Matthew Bells screwing the guitar~
                      swerte ng gitara!

thanks riza for the pic!!!

That's it for now!!

L.G Faud.

    yes guess who's back?
    I'm back. brokeback! ugh! whatever.
    It's summer and and it's raining. and my, oh my i have summer classes; but it's okay, I hate idleness in my life,! para akong surot dai!!
anyways, I created an account on blogspot but I'm not yet ready to present to you my ventures there. It's a very personal blog of mine, ("eh bakit mo ginawa, kung 'di mo rin lang papabasa?") I shall give you the link SOON. soon. When I'm ready. But for the meantime. I'm here so might as well just bear with me.

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING POST IS SUCH A NONSENSE.

you've been warned, pero andito ka pa rin? tsk.tsk.tsk.

       I am so excited about the "fourth book" of TWILIGHT. I can't wait for august!! You know what excites me the most?? Is the very fact that it is an "Adult Novel" so there is, oh my There is a 100% TENDECY THAT eDWARD AND bEllA will (finally) get intimate with each other!! They're already legal! so what's the point in resisting??? on depriving yourself of passion?! (hahaha I sound so perverted!) But what can I do?? I love passion. VAMPIRIC PASSION to be exact. oh yeah, those fangs trying to devour your very flesh and steal your heartbeat..exciting! I just hope that the movie will be as beautiful as the book, BECAUSE SOMETIMES (mOST OF THE TIME) when a novel is
adopted on the bigscreen, there is so much alteration going on. And I hate that! and by the way, Mr. Robert Pattinson teh one who'll play the character of EDward Cullen is a one hot creature!!I cannot believe that lips like his' do exist!! I'll definitely trade my life to be bitten with those kinds of lips.!
ugh! "eto na namna ako, expectations." 'di nalang ako mageexpect para 'di lang ako maDisappoint (cant help it though!)~~~~

On the other hand, I want to find something that will steal my time away this summer, 'coz I only go to school for thrice a week an d I so have a lot of time to spare. I tried to back in the "gaming mode" (O2jam, ran, flyff, audition etc.) but I find it more boring. The typical complete your tasks, and you'll be rewarded with a new skill, you'll level up and other stuff. 

_____________

    Something very disturbing is happening to me. But I won't tell because it is a "girl thing" meaning it will be dramatic and I hate being too girly. But it's really taking its toll on me. I don't know if its me or I'm just being too paranoid...

I need my best friends ren & jones. They are the ones who will understand this psycho-kind of things. I miss talking with them and bullying them and dreaming to be with them forever. I am their baby!! I'm missing a lot and I owe them a lot also.

    Jonil at Renalyn,                                                                                                         Kayo'y natatangi;                                                                                                                                     Ang makasami kayo ang tanging hiling,                                                                                        Jonil, miss na miss ko ang marami ninyong salamin.                                                                Ang ating mga tawanan at kalokohan,                                                                        kasama na rin ang "haplusan"                                                                                  hahaha, ito ang epekto-                                                                                          ng pangungulila ko sa inyo.                                                                                 

______________________________

Simona
You're getting older
Your journey's been
Etched on your skin

Simona
Wish I had known that
What seemed so strong
Has been and gone

Simona
Wish I was sober
So I could see clearly now
The rain has gone

Simona
I guess it's over
My memory plays our tune
The same old song

And though time goes by
I will always be
In a club with you
In 1973.

****

 

 

 

PLAYING BUDDHA.

    I feel so fulfilled at the moment because finally, the physics exam is uber and so what's left with me now to deal are the minor subjects. "Hay nakatapos din ng one full sem"
    I'm looking forward to enroll this summer because, yeah I know that sounds very very "are you nuts?" But I have nothing to do anyways, my friends, they are all in province and I just want to get rid of the boring subjects ex:polsci and asianciv. I just hope that I get to enroll at healthstat this summer, because I dont want to be bombarded with numbers when june comes. I hate numbers as in!! I feel schizophrenic when I see them..especially on  exams. Too bad I still need to finish the curriculum issued this sem, meaning STS (watever that means) and Biochem, to name a few, are sheets that I cannot escape nanu man ing gawan ko!

_________________
    We went to my dear Charlie's place a while ago just to kill time. And we went to U.K(lam mo yan!) and Ana and I were just extremely happy when we found worthy stuff to buy.O_O Yey! black flats!! We took shower altogether, yes we're all girls anyway! And suddenly my childhood memories just all came back to me at once. I miss my province so much! Arggh I want to cry! I miss the cows, the carabaos/buffaloes, goats, bamboo. The tadpoles the river at our backyard the dragonflies. I remember how Jelbie (haha, my childhood friend, my neighbor & my constant competition at school during gradeskul) and I catch butterflies and dragonflies and intentionally wear red to attract cows and let them go wild and they will run after us.AHH. I miss my old life really. I remember also how my Lola would hit me a slipper because again,with my friends, I got wet playing on the river killing newborn fishes, yes I know that's so Inhumane but we are children on those days and we just don't care!
    And as I lingered back on those carefree days of mine, I noticed how big the changes occurred to me and to my friend Jelbie are. Example, he is an engineer in the making, I admit he was always the winner when it comes to math competitions. While me, my family still surrender me at the "Asylum" when my lunacies attacks, but unlike my friend, I'm still the sexless drunkard struggling to feel the real meaning of life. This meaninglessness (as Lestat call it) is bugging me, I feel like I'm just a robot whose lack of capacity for human emotions is often emphasized. I make other people smile but at the end of day i still feel somehow, futile. No, it's not that I am not a good driver, maybe the road is too lubricated that I keep on bumping at the trees and destroying road signs. I wish for enlightenment to hit me!
    ai ali ku pa pala mamangan baka maranup kumu kaya ali kuna balu ing panyabyan ku.

   

"ISA KANG MALAKING MAGNET!!

    Hahaha! yes, Charlie accused me of having a very very high magnetic force! Wanna know why? This is a confession:

    Today is Analous' birthday!! also known as Bb. Kalayaan 2008. So what we did is right after our long exam in english, I hurried up to meet Joey in the canteen and we almost drag ourselves to 7-11 to buy ICE CREAM as a token of our lurve to analou. Coffe Crumble! One thing about us Australians is that, we all have the same weakness: PAGKAIN!!!!  'pag may pagkain nah, wala na, wasakan nah! And we all feel that we are getting fat and we badly need to monitor our appetite! or in other words, bawasan ang katakawan, baka sumabog ang aming mga duodenum,ileum and jejunum.! so, bakit namna daw ako magnet??  kasi pasimuno ako (palagi) sa pagka-cutting classes namin hehe.'. nagu-guilty din namin ako pero pagkatapos na hehe. The end justifies the means/ whatever!!
    But to tell you frankly. I am beginning to worry about my laziness, clumsiness and carelessness, and me being addicted to Mr. Turner. I am no good. Yes, I have decent grades, just enough to pass, but I do not consider myself as a mediocre; the problem is that I know I can get high high grades if I want to but my laziness keeps on blocking my way. And my "number  lang yan principle" ----for example, if I get a low score in a certain quiz, I just keep on telling myself and my fellow australians na: "number  lang yan, pag nagtrabaho na tayo, balewala na rin yan! Can you imagine how optimistic I am? but I am really trying hard to change, for the betterment of my future. I need encouragement!! (Mr. Turners' accent can be!).
    Anyways, four days kaming walang pasok kasi foundation day!! I am looking forward to meet tootie, hopefully!!

***more cuttings to come!!***
   

The clock says 9:58 and I am bored.

    Yesterday is a special day (hearts day), for you, the rest of the world, for lovers etc, but not for me. It is not a special day for me and it will never ever be. And so, I did not write yesterday because I thought that it will be cheesy,haha! sorry..it's not that I am a narcissist you know, and encouraging you all to be one.. Why wait for feb. 14 to show your love to someone? where in fact everyday can be a hearts day isn't it? People, don't get me wrong, i am not bitter okay? I am not romantic, fine! but I know that love is inevitable and no man is an island, I am up for it, but I just think that it is too soon and  (damn) I cannot imagine myself holding hands with someone at this point of my life. I am very much happy right now with the sweet freedom I posses and I AM NOT GOING TO GIVE IT UP. not now!not now! IN GOD'S TIME HOPEFULLY. After college I guess, arghh!! I have no Idea. enough!
___________________________________________________
    So last night, I have so much spare time that I watched all Arctic monkeys Glastonbury concert at you tube,. I am screaming at the top of my lungs pare!! Seeing Alex doing his thing up there on the stage omg!!(spasms). And I tried to finish 'the interview with the vampire book' but unfortunately I did not succeed because I had a "visitor" and I got lazy (always naman eh!) But I really want to finish it soon because, I still have another book to finish!! It is also about Vampires, I am on the third book now entitled "Eclipse' . Hopefully before the school year ends..
____________________________________________________
    Anyways, I am looking forward on the 26th to 29th day of this month because it is our schools sports fest and wala akong sinaluhan na kahit anong event haha!
I am excited because it means na walang pasok!!! And woohoo!! with God's grace, matutuloy na ang date namin ni tutie and lala!!
**********jnx.